I have lost my bestfriend. No he didn'd die. I think dealing with his death would be easier than grieving for a man that never even exsisted. Let me elaborate a little bit.
One day all was well and the wedding planning is going wonderful and the next day its all just shattered into a million pieces. "He has felt dead inside for the last 6 months!" Oh you mean the last six months when we took our engagement photos, or when we thought I was prego and picked out names for hours together, or when he found the place on the side of the river in my home town that would be perfect for our wedding, or how about that house we where going to buy. THAT LAST SIX MONTHS!? just checking!
I feel blindsighted by a semi truck. I was in love and going to marry a man that was a very good actor, and the scarey thing is I had no idea he was just acting. I am upset over a person that wasnt even real. Four years. WOW! How does this happen? He doesn't even care about taking care of his number one joy in life... animals. He left them also for me to "take care of". I already have three dogs what am I going to do with five. I am totally lost. Every morning I think that its a bad dream that I am going to wake up from, but come to find out its real....I am alone without my bestfriend that didn't even really exsist.
On a postive note....I do have a wonderful new place to live, I know how to change all passwords on every account I have, I got a PO BOX, I have a new fancy phone, wireless internet ( I have money now that there is no wedding and now house buying. ) I know that when you move out and the other resident stays in the house they are responsible for the bill and I think that is great when your fiance cheats. lol!
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